Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I would ride that face into the sunset
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
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