haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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