You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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