just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
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