You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
