I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
