it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
