Where is the hickey?
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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