Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
