i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
