like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
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