i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
