is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
