he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
