so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
time to smoke my breakfast
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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