I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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