Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
