I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
