Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
