i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
