Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
