we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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