I'm lost and stupid without you.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
