so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
