what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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