There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
