i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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