U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
