i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
