I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
