A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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