hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
