It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
