we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
