i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
