There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
