hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
