Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Randomize
