Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
two words: eviction party
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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