Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
