He uses pillows to masturbate.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
