so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
