i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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