i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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