So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
