Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
