You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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