Cold hands, warm shart.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
