I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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