At least make sure they are 18
Why
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
