Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
