dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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