So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
