What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
sarcasm needs its own font
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
